I am proud of myself that I have made it to the end of the week. I seriously feel like I am taking it day by day and sometimes hour by hour. Ruby knows the baby is not leaving and we have had some meltdowns this week. She is definitely testing me to the limits and it has been pretty crazy around here. I do feel like screaming myself sometimes, that, or breaking down and sobbing. It is hard but I am still grateful to have two gorgeous girls. My grandma, Tooty, was telling me today to just wait until the teenage years. I'm sure I will look back on this time with fond memories!!
Belle is doing great though. She really is beautiful and has the most gorgeous lips, almond shaped eyes and her head is shaped so nicely!!! She L.O.V.E.S to nurse and when she is not nursing, she is crying to nurse again. She had her first bath last night and hated it, but she looked so cute with her wet hair and naked little body in the baby tub. While the newborn stage is hard, it is also so precious! I can't help but love this huge soul trapped in this little body starting her little life. When she opens her eyes and is calm and looking around, I can't help but wonder what she is thinking about. I know it is hard for us to get used to having the babies around but it is much harder for them to get used to being here with us dum dum parents who know nothing. I love when she falls asleep on me and I can look at her peaceful little face. She really is so precious!
Like I said, Ruby is testing me. I am new at this discipline thing and don't quite know how to react when she acts out. Today was one of the harder days. I was hoping to take a nap when the girls went down but of course, that didn't happen. Ruby woke up from her nap prematurely and was super crabby. Belle had finally fallen asleep and Ruby just starting SCREAMING and crying and thrashing about. DRIVE ME INSANE!!! I didn't want her to wake the baby so I grabbed her, put my hand over her mouth and brought her into her room. She was still doing it and I thought I was going to scream myself. I feel like such a loser mom admitting this. I should be patient and loving no matter what, especially when I know RUby is going through a big transition too but I feel like I lost it. She finally settled down and I took her to the couch and sat with her and we watched baby einstein. How do you discipline a kid that young??? I know she understands what is going on and it drives me nuts when she turns into psycho babe! I would love any tips you other parents have. By the way, I love watching Ruby sleep too! She is a little angel just like her sissy!
Other than the tantrums and lack of sleep, we seem to be doing ok. I know this will get easier, it will just take some time to get everything in order with the girls and figure out our new routine together. I know, I need to post some pix. I really admire you peeps that can take pictures and post them the same day. That is definitely not me. It takes me awhile to get them up. But they will come!!
6 comments:
I think your title for this one is very appropriate. Mary! You are going to be FINE! You are in the best moment of your life because it is right now. You will be crazy, you will be exhausted you will be filled with weariness and disappointment in the way things are going. Yet, at the same time you will be filled with sweet thoughts and hopeful futures and ohhhs and ahhhs and joyous nothings, and strangers loving you and your babies. You will be stronger every minute. You will figure out what needs to happen and what actually works. And eventually, you will think I am doing it right and I am Mother hear me roar! You already are successful! With Matt as your partner you guys already have a sweet little family to snuggle and love. Enjoy the joyous nothings. love you.
Your Grandma Tooty is a wise woman! The teenage years are really hard and someday you'll look back and wish your girls could be little again for just a day.
Just let Ruby know that you love her. She just wants some attention and is probably aggravated that she's been "dethroned". You did the right thing by spending some one-on-one time with her. She'll start to see that being the helper and the big sister is really great. Keep up the good work! :)
I totally hear you. I know Emma is quite a bit older than Ruby, but we are still struggling with the same things. Since last week Katie has been waking up more and Emma doesn't nap at all so it's hard to find time to sleep and spend time with Emma while Katie is awake and fussy. I keep telling myself that in a few months things will calm down and get easier. For now I have to remember to just take it one minute at a time. You're not alone!
So my sis-in-law just went through this a couple months ago when she had her 2nd boy. Her pediatrician told her not only to have her older boy help her with EVERYTHING (getting diapers, bathing baby, putting lotion on baby, etc.) but also to tell him in advance when you are goin' to do something with the new baby, like, "Ok in a few minutes we'll go get Teegan and we'll change his diaper. Will you help me?" and so on. I hope that helps! As far as discipline, I am nazi mom.:) It's all about consistancy and follow-through. and standing your ground. You call the shots, how she reacts to them is her choice. Haylee quickly learned that throwin' a tantrum didn't EVER get her what she wanted. AND NO EMPTY THREATS!!! That is my #1 pet peeve with parents!!! If you tell her she's gonna go to time-out or whatever if she does something naughty and she does it again, PUT HER IN TIME OUT!! She needs to know that you are serious!:) Kids NEED boundaries--they will push until they are sure where those boundaries are and they know that those boundaries won't move. Do I sound like nazi mom??:) Told ya! Good luck and hang in there--this is a HUGE transition time for all of you!:)
Oh Mary, my heart goes out to you! This is such a special time but such a physically and emotionally exhausting time as well! My thoughts are with you!
As far as any discipline advice, I second what Bethany said about consistency. If my kids throw tantrums, I just ignore them or put them in their rooms until they calm down. Even Maddie (who is just younger than Ruby--16 months) is starting to learn that she can't get what she wants by screaming. I know you have zero free time right now, but I really like the book "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood" http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002
It has some great practical advice for discipline with very young children.
One more thing, while I'm on my soapbox, NEVER feel guilty about sleeping when your girls do--the dishes, laundry, and blogging can wait! Sleep when they sleep and you will be much happier! Also, I always try to get my kids to take a bottle during the first couple of weeks after they are born. That way, Ryan can help with feeding the baby sometimes--especially those late night feedings---we switch off so that we can both get a little bit of sleep instead of me being crazy mean zombie mama/wife!
I'm thinking of you!
I loved Bethany's wise advice. Be consistant, follow through, no empty threats, set limits, give consequences. When my kids screem and cry, and it's gone on long enough, and my attempts to sooth are not helping, they have to go to their room if they want to continue crying.
I've also heard tons of positive feedback about Love and Logic.
Hang in there Mary. I very much relate about how serious sleeping is, and how upsetting it is to look forward to sleeping, and then it doesn't work out.
You're in my prayers.
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