Am I going crazy?

So, since becoming a mom on April 2o, 2008 at 2:46 a.m., I feel like some days (and nights) I am losing my marbles! For example, sometimes I would (this doesn't happen very often now) wake up in the middle of the night looking for baby in our bed. I would frantically look under the sheets and blankets, thinking that she slid down and was suffocating under there. Of course I would realize that she was snug as a bug in her cradle right next to me but it still freaked me out! Then other nights (when I wasn't frantically looking for my baby) I would wake up, thinking that she was crying and get up to get her and she would be zonked out in her crib yet again! No crying at all, just sound asleep! What prompted this post about my craziness so far was yet another experience last night. Ruby has been spitting up lately. Last night I swear I heard her spit up in the middle of the night. I leaned over to look at her and thought I saw some spit up on her sleeper and went to get a cloth to wipe her off. When I got back to her, she was totally dry, no spit up to be found and fast asleep! I got back in bed relieved that she wasn't awake and that she hadn't spit up but wondering what was going on with my mind.

I know this happened a lot on the mish. I remember times when I would sit up (while I was sleeping) and start praying in spanish. My comp would wake up too, see me sleep praying and tell me to go back to bed. I always felt like a complete dork when that happened and I was mad at myself when I realized I lost a few precious moments of sleep! I guess this stuff happens to me when I am sleep deprived. Although I really can't complain about Ruby. She is starting to sleep through the night and I am SOOOOO grateful for a night of uninterrupted sleep, even if she wakes up at 5 or 6 am. It is amazing how refreshing it is to sleep without waking up! Thanks REM sleep!!!

Speaking of Ruby sleeping...I always lay down with her to help her to calm down for her naps. It is actually one of my all time favorite things that we do. We lay down side by side and I put my face next to hers. She instantly puts her face next to mine and closes her eyes. We just lay there for a few minutes listening to each other breathe. It is soooo relaxing and I can feel her sweet baby breath. When she is almost asleep, I put her in the cradle. It is a little piece of heaven that's for sure! She is such a sweet baby and is totally attached to me. I didn't realize it would happen this fast but she is always looking for me and and looking at me and wants me to hold her and love her. I love it and am happy to comply with her baby requests!